words from within.

To you,

I am sorry I do not have the courage to confess my feelings towards you, for I know that your heart belongs to someone else, or at least that is what you are thinking. Oh honey, you are looking for love. For that particular someone to appear in your life. And I'd be lying if I say that I am not hoping to be that person. Declining what my heart is feeling, my brain keeps on telling me that I should just erase you from my heart. But it is not as easy. In theory, it sounds so easy. I might be able to say out loud that you don't matter as much, but I know... Everytime someone mentions your name, I'll put my hearing senses on and listen, quitely. Feeling very anxious. Could you have found your right one ? It hurts. Even to know that you are actually being close with someone. You're irresistable. Everything about you. As much as it hurts to know that you might fall in love just about at any time, I can't resist not knowing your updates. Although it hurts a lot, I can still fake a smile. Somehow, I feel a twist of relief if you are happy. Because that's what I feel everytime you smile when you talk about things or persons that make you happy. You always sound so lively when you do.

My friends ? They keep on telling me you're not the one. They keep on telling me to forget and find someone new. But can I ? I know I can't. No matter how strong the will within me that pushes me away from admiring you, the feeling I have for you is stronger.
It hurts so much, when everytime I look at you... a small voice within whisper, "He's out of reach". Did you ever notice the look I gave everytime we bumped into each other? No, you don't. Did you know how hard it was to keep secrets ? Oh, I am eager to tell the WORLD how much I want you, but I know, I can't. Do you feel the love in every look I gave when we used to go out ? No, you can't. My voice can lie, my hands can lie, but my eyes? They can't hide anything, not even the love I have for you.

I am giving up hope on you, but definitely not my heart. For now, and until time heals me...It belongs to you. Even if we were meant to be together, I have nothing much to offer. All I have is my heart to offer. Because somehow...

You light the dark.
You sparkle the star.
You shine the sun.
And...
Most importantly, you are being YOU.

Everytime you are with me, everytime I see your smile, everytime I catch a your eyes, it feels as if I am walking on clouds. But everytime you turn away, it feels as if someone shoots my legs and I can no longer run free on those clouds.

p.s : sorry for the over-emotional post. I am just in the mood. Plus, triggered mostly by the song I am listening over and over now.